BEFRIENDING STRESS As a Path Home to Ourselves WEEK 6/6 - Choosing your Own CONSCIOUS CURRICULUM

 

Welcome to Week 6!

A 6 Week Series on BEFRIENDING STRESS As a Path Home to Ourselves.

 

Throughout this 6 week Series I am inviting you to step off the comparison track and choose to enter onto your own path of the Conscious Curriculum, in service of your own healing and growth.

We will be focusing on more deeply UNDERSTANDING your unique STRESS RESPONSE as a way of moving towards greater Stress Resilience & Self Leadership in the areas of your life that are most stubborn.

We are going to explore different ways you can meet, tend to, and befriend how STRESS (or the sympathetic Fear Response) is the most common block to you actually slowing down, and acting into a place of inner alignment and personal power towards your most meaningful and value aligned goals.

 

In Week 1 we explored some of the most common blocks and how comparison can get us stuck before we even allow ourselves to start to listen, and learn from our stress response. 

We also learned WHY stress is prevalent topic to draw our attention to in modern day life, across cultures and varying demographics.

In Week 2, we learned about stress on a fundamental level and how it functions in Physics, Mechanics, and Engineering. Including the impacts of excess stress, wear and tear, and breakdown.

In Week 3, we explored Stress in the Human Body. A two part exploration into the History of Stress Research, and how Stress shows up in the Human Body. Meeting the Stress Response both in it's balanced state, and in Pt. 2, the impacts on our bodies when stress becomes Chronic.

Week 4, we dove into how Stress can be influenced by our thinking mind, learned beliefs, and unique perceptions, and perspectives of situations. We also touched on how childhood pains can distort our mental maps of how we see the world.

Week 5, we got introduced to the ways Stress shows up in Human behaviour, most commonly as protective strategies in times of emotional discomfort, conflict and Relationships.  We explored the 4 F's of Fear Response Wheel, as well as the Relational Dynamics Map.

If you want to revisit any of the prior series blogs, find the link to the beginning of the series HERE.

 

 

6 Week BEFRIENDING STRESS as a Path Home to Ourselves OVERVIEW:

 

Week 1 | 

WHY CARE ABOUT STRESS?

 

Week 2 | 

WHAT EXACTLY IS STRESS?

  

Week 3 |

WHAT IS STRESS IN THE MINDBODY NERVOUS SYSTEM? 

FOUNDING EXPERTS OF STRESS RESEARCH

WHAT IS HEALTHY ADAPTATION?

 

Week 4 | 

WHAT IS STRESS IN THOUGHTS, THINKING, MIND, & EGO?

 

Week 5 | 

WHAT IS STRESS IN BEHAVIOUR?

 

Week 6 | 

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

Choosing Your Own CONSCIOUS CURRICULUM

8 L's of LIFE LEADERSHIP as A SOMATIC SHADOW WORK TOOLKIT for STRESS RESILIENCE.

TRANSFORMING DISTRESS into manageable and PURPOSE INSPIRED EUSTRESS.

 

---

 

You made it! This is the final week 6/6 of the series!

 

I am going to start this last segment of the series off with a Bold Question..

 

WHERE ARE YOU LYING TO YOURSELF? 

Where is life not working, but you are quietly pointing the finger at external circumstances, a cause out there?

Where is it you subtly know you need to look at, but a part of you is choosing to turn a blind eye?

Denial is one of our ego's greatest escape and avoidance mechanisms, but it's costing You something at the same time.

 

I am holding a compassionate mirror up to you RIGHT NOW.

 

YOU ARE THE CO CREATOR TO THE RESULTS IN YOUR LIFE.

Life will respond in direct consistency, and coherence with the energy in which you embody and attract into your life.

Everything is an INSIDE OUT GAME.

 

We choose our energy state, through which thoughts we choose to place our attention on. We embody a belief structure, story, and identity, from these thoughts.  We then act out our best effort strategies from this story, self construct, and personal paradigm in how we see the world.

 

TO CHANGE on a fundamental level. We need to first be radically honest with ourselves..

WHERE IS OUR LIFE NOT WHERE WE WANT IT TO BE?

WHAT'S THE CONSTANT, the repetitive pattern that keeps showing up, that's keeping us from creating this Dream, this Reality?

 

Are you consistently saying you want one thing, and yet your actions are causing you to do another?

Are you setting Health goals, and late night drive throughs, tempt you to eat out more fast food than you'd like?

 

Do you know you need to move on, heal a past heartbreak, but you keep finding yourself falling into what's comfortable and returning to your Ex?

Are you wanting to improve your confidence in communication with your partner, but finding yourself retracting, shying away, when it comes to difficult conversations?

 

Are you saying you want to ask for help from your partner, so you don't have to carry the whole financial burden, but a guilt ridden voice says you need to be the sole provider?

Do you crave a deeper emotional connection with your partner, but have skepticism how they will take it and whether they can hold your honest emotions without judgement?

Is it making your relationship feel surface level, transactional, and intertwined with unspoken expectations?

 

This is THE INNER CONFLICT, two or more parts, holding different agendas, priorities, and core needs (Neither of which are in themselves wrong), sometimes just misaligned with our CURRENT GOALS, VISIONS, ASPIRATIONS, and DREAMS.

 

How I've experienced it, is we see an inspiring goal, and go at it with Vigor and hope. Through trial and error, we experiment we win, we fall, we fail, we get up again. 

At some point..

Eventually we hit an invisible ceiling. 

This ceiling is our subconscious. It's a hidden set of beliefs, fears, imbalanced stress response patterns, that live within us as a self protective system guarding us from unhealed parts of ourselves.

 

This will always cap our potential because it controls us below our level of conscious awareness. We don't know Why we do what we do, we just can't seem to show up in the way our conscious mind is most INSPIRED TO. We keep defaulting to the comfortable path, the path of least resistance, the easy way, the safe way.

 

Often it shows up as;

Unhealthy Beingness (Over adaptive anima/feminine energy) - That shuts us down, self criticizes us, defeats us into playing small before we can even get started.

Eventually it suffocates us into inaction, suppressed anger, resentment, under expressed emotion, sickness, and disease.

or

Unhealthy Doingness (Over adaptive animus/masculine energy) - The keeps us constantly thinking, striving, running, managing, and working for our worth.

Eventually it drives us into imbalance, overwork, burnout and exhaustion.

 

Both of these well intended, but self sabotaging strategies end up stealing from us one or more of:

 

The 3 Pillars of Fulfillment

HEALTH

QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS

MEANINGFUL WORK

 

or

 

The 5 P’s of Wholehearted Living

Inner Peace | Calmness, grounded peace of Mind

Physical Health | Balance, equilibrium, and Harmony in the Body

Presence | Intimacy, and Emotional depth in connection with our relationships, hobbies, and to the world around us. 

Progress | Choice, Autonomy, Freedom and personal responsibility to create Meaningful Change/Growth in our life.

Purpose | Courage to follow our hearts in Living a life true to ourselves. Walking our authentic path, and doing work that Matters to US.

 

The more I do parts work with my own system, the more and more inspired I am to show up and help others also grow the CAPACITY TO HOLD THEIR INNER CONFLICTS from a place of genuine curiosity and compassion.  I am sharing this work because I am speaking from a place of felt emotional transformational impact. I am experiencing an inner harmony with my parts, and an alignment with my own truth, intuition and self trust, that continually deepens as I practice healing more of my past, and experimenting showing up more fully in the PRESENT.

 

I feel it in my confidence in owning my needs in my relationships.

I feel it in my increased ability to access courage and grounded confidence to put myself out online and speak from my heart in entrepreneurship.

I feel it through my choices in shifting and pivoting my work from the safe, and stable option, to a HEART LED, and personally MEANINGFUL path.

I feel it in finding my humility to take on and grow in new hobbies, like Country dance.

 

I will be the first to tell you TRANSFORMATION, and SUSTAINABLE behaviour change does not happen overnight.

Anyone who tries to sell you it does, is likely selling a quick fix, false bio hack that is destined for long term let down, and another high hope disappointment.

 

IFS (Internal Family Systems), as a formal practice of parts work, is an evidence based, proven methodology of working with our Inner world in a safe, compassionate, and curious way that allows us to understand ourselves and our patterns in a way that allows for reintegration, rebalancing, and sustainable new possibilities.

 

When parts feel understood they share how they are trying to help. When parts recognize their efforts are in conflict to other parts agendas, we (our parts) WAKE UP to the conflict.

It's in these AHA moments, intuitive INSIGHTS, that the system shifts, a NEW APPROACH opens up. A new PERSPECTIVE of how to approach our situation, problem, or challenge at hand.

 

With ongoing practice and integration..  A continued relationship to our parts, starts to build inner trust between the system.  An Inner Leader of Loving awareness begins to take back the wheel of driving our ship.  Our Truest SELF, becomes the one in charge, and our parts become self LED in their most adaptive and helpful ways.

 

It's in this harmonious inner dynamic that we are able to LEAD our lives from an open hearted and embodied confidence. A place of self trust, surrender, and imperfect expression.

 

We notice times we felt we didn't have any other option, start shifting to a spaciousness where now we do have CHOICE.

We move from Reactive to personally responsive and Responsible for the results in our life.

We gradually start speaking for our parts, rather than getting triggered and acting from our parts.

We shift from Ego protecting, to Ego Integrated.

We bring our vices under control, and learn to harness them into our unique gifts.

We shift from FEAR driven, to making choices from the COURAGE of our HEART.

 

Your CONSCIOUS CURRICULUM is a choice, a gateway to follow your stress patterns towards your own healing and expansion.

It's not going to be easy at first, but I promise it gets easier. The results will keep you Inspired to continue.

 

 

I recently released the ALIGN PROGRAM, a framework of the 8 L’s of Life Leadership, as a model and toolkit I created for myself and am personally using in how to live my life from a place of SURRENDER, AND SELF TRUST.

Alongside using it in my own life.. I am teaching people these same skills, techniques, and exact practices of how to shift ones energetic STATE, to create a new internal narrative, STORY and IDENTITY, which then informs every STRATEGY, CHOICE, ACTION, BEHAVIOUR and HABIT that when compounded unequivocally moves us towards our most INSPIRED GOALS and DREAMS.

 

I built the model around years of self exploration in what works and more often informed on what doesn't.

It honours the dance of duality. Coming into SACRED UNION of our healthy feminine, and healthy masculine energies. The practice of Surrender and Imperfect Expression, in which ever balance feels natural and authentic to YOU.

In doing so we are ALIGNING OURSELVES TO our MOST POWERFUL AND POTENT ENERGY.
The place where we will be able to most powerfully Lead, Serve, and Share our personal mission, and heartfelt gifts on this planet.

 

When you join me in the 12 week program, you Learn the Toolkit, and from their can take it with you on every Quest, Adventure, and Unique Creative Expression you feel called to Channel into this world.

The Conscious Curriculum is a path of Self Discovery.. but more importantly a lifelong journey of SELF & SHARED POSSIBILITY!

 

---

 

EXERCISE | Owning Your Imbalances. Naming the CONFLICT. Finding Your Constant. 

 

In this exercise I am inviting you from a place of compassionate curiosity, to begin your own Conscious Curriculum today.

We are going to start by Taking a Stress inventory:

We can't Change, what we haven't Named feels Off. And we can't move towards, what we haven't OWNED we WANT, DESIRE, and DREAM to be DIFFERENT.

The saying goes we can't Manage, and Improve what we can't Measure.

 

In this exercise we are going to look at the major areas of our life, and NAME where we have a GAP, and where WE ENVISION and DESIRE TO INVITE MORE FULFILLMENT INTO OUR LIFE.

CoActive Coaches refer to this as the Wheel of Life, or Life Fulfillment Map & Tracker. 

When life is balanced and working, our life arenas are working together, feeding and fuelling into one another.

When our life is imbalanced, one area is thriving, while another is suffering, it feels bumpy, like a misaligned tire balancing.

 

Steps:

1. MAP YOUR CURRENT QUALITY OF LIFE

On a scale of 1-10 Rate the Subjective Satisfaction of each Area of your life.

2. ENVISION YOUR DREAM LIFE

Journal an emotionally charged description, or create a inspiration based Vision board for what a 10/10 would look like in each Category/ Arena of life!

3. DESCRIBE A REALISTIC NEXT VERSION OF YOURSELF

Write what 2 levels higher than your current level of satisfaction would look like in each category of life.

4. SET A SMART GOAL in ALIGNMENT with your EXPANDING VERSION of SELF

Choose 1 arena of life to focus on. (If we try and take on too much, too fast, we overwhelm ourselves.) Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.  We can be patient, knowing we are playing the long game.  Remember the conscious curriculum is a path of humility, and integrity in our unique self growth. It is, and only ever will be YOU vs YOU. 

Choose 1 goal for the next 30 days that would move this arena of your life up 2 levels of Life Fulfillment.

SMART GOAL | 

Your Life Strategy is a set of Smart goals, short term projects in alignment with your personal life, business, or enterprises long term vision of success and fulfillment.

 

Specific | Define with Absolute Crystal Clarity, a clean, clear, precise AIM & TARGET.  Where are YOU going? What is the GOAL, End Destination? What is the Desired Result, Outcome, Objective, Deliverable, or Impact? What are YOU trying to Accomplish, Attain or Realize Different?  What are YOUR detailed expectations, quality and standards. What is MY criteria for Success? What results/experiences will I notice are different and how will I know? What does Finished/Complete look like, and feel like emotionally for YOU? What are the Qualities of the end experiences?

Outline your End Destination with explicit, concrete, material, tangible, exact detail. The MORE SPECIFIC, the Narrower your focus, the more aligned and intentional your energy.

Bonus - Focus on A DESIRED POSITIVE experience, rather than escaping a negative.

Measurable | What metrics can I use to know if I am moving towards my goal? 

Is there an objective metric, quantifiable that can serve as trail markers for my progress?

What trackers, tools can I use to measure my practice, efforts, and performance?

What Quantitative measurements, analytics, KPI's (Key performance indicators), benchmarks, specific data points, points of reference/comparison can I measure to ensure I am tracking in the right direction. 

How will I know if I am moving in the right direction?

Attainable | Is this goal just outside my comfort zone? Do I feel inspired to take on this challenge or overwhelmed. Adjust the goals to steps/stages, so you are stretched but not constantly stressed. You feel you have, can attain, or can learn, sufficient resources to complete the project. (Time, energy, knowledge, capital/finances, equipment/tools, material).

What are the realistic Risk analysis obstacles/challenges/constraints YOU may encounter as you travel towards your goal? Set up a mitigation plan to navigate these blocks before you face them.

Relevant | Inspirational! Emotionally Charged! Personally Meaningful!

THE MOST IMPORTANT part of goal setting, is knowing WHY IT IS IMPORTANT to YOU in the first place. How does this Goal fit into the bigger PICTURE? Why Does it MATTER TO ME!?  Am I INSPIRED, charged, lit up to CHASE THIS DREAM TODAY?

If you are missing, or disconnected from an Emotionally charged, Heart Connected WHY, personal values, or larger Purpose, no other SMART goal Strategy can make up for a WHY, a motivation that is distant and not strong enough. Bring your INTENTION into alignment with the center of your being. Look at it, Feel into it everyday.

When you know EXACTLY WHERE you are going, and a RESOLUTE WHY. The world has a tendency to step out of the way.

Why do I WANT THIS? What short and or long term need is it serving?

Is this goal, series of goals,  my Highest PRIORITY right now?

Does it fit into the larger priority hierarchy of our other goals, projects, plans, and efforts?

Is this the right time for this GOAL? 

Have things changed, do I need to re-evalute the necessity of this goal?

Time Bound | Is my objective Deadlined, milestoned? Without an expectation of completion date, Parkinson's productivity law says projects expand to fill the time allotted. Busy tasks take up space, the unnecessary and unimportant start to creep in.  Finish lines help our minds focus on ESSENTIALS and EFFECTIVES, rather than efficient and busy.

 

5. DECIDE & COMMIT TO PRACTICING A DAILY HABIT

Choose 2 Habits that you can track daily that would support the realization of this goal.

Include them on attached the Habit Tracker Sheet below. 

Practice Imperfect Expression in adding them to your daily routine.

If you fall off the track, don't beat yourself down, but instead make note of what got in the way.

This information becomes invaluable, new insights, new feedback directly from your life, to help you Evolve and grow in your unique Conscious Curriculum.

What do I need to shift, to step more fully into my life and Dreams? Where do I need to strengthen my WHY to be greater than my why not/resistances?

Where am I not showing up for myself, in the areas I say I want most?

This information helps support you streamline, the continued evolution of strategies and systems towards living into your Fullest Expression.

Surrender & Resilience - Follow the 8 L's of Life Leadership in Surrender and Imperfect Expression to PRACTICE this new Habit DAILY.

Practice it imperfectly.

 

If you find yourself hitting the same wall, if you have parts that are getting in the way. Don't hesitate to reach out for support!

We don't have to go at this life alone.  We are tribal/communal beings.

Coaching is an invaluable tool, I have leaned on in my own life. Learning from those who are just 1 step ahead in an area of life I am inspired to grow into.

I have realized immense deepening of self understanding, healing, growth, and self empowerment from standing beside, and with the shoulders of experts before me, having the support of practitioners, and coaches who are on a similar path and have navigated one step ahead of me.

 

6. When one Aspirational Goal is REALIZED, Return to the MASTER Wheel of Life Fulfillment MAP, Where are you inspired to EXPAND Into NEXT?!

 

 

 

 

 

Congratulations! You made it to the end. You COMPLETED week 6/6 of the Series! 

  

I hope this series offered a new insight into STRESS, STRESS RESILIENCE, and the opportunities to be with our patterns in a new and empowering way.

 

With practice I trust, through my own experience, YOU will also be able to relate to your LIFE, your RELATIONSHIPS, and your DREAMS with more Eustress (Inspired Growth/Challenge), rather than feeling held back by blocks of distress.

 

If you are curious to learn what is possible in deepening your connection with stressed or over protective parts and what they may be struggling with.  I welcome and encourage you to Schedule a 1on1 Discovery Call.  We can hear from your parts and explore together in what they may be wanting support in.

 

Wishing you a Compassionate, and New Capacity filled week!

 

Courageously, 

Greg